Saturday, December 24, 2011
Letter of Rejection from The Third World Club
Dear United States,
Thank you for your recent application for admission the The Third World Club. Your application has been carefully reviewed by our Membership Committee, and I regret to inform you that at this time you do not meet our minimum membership qualifications. However, the Committee has instructed me to notify you that your recent achievements indicate that you are well on the road to qualifying. The Committee, therefore, strongly encourages you to apply again in the near future. The Committee notes with pleasure your recent progress in widening the gap between rich and poor, increasing the proportion of GNP devoted to non-productive activities such as military expenditure, increasing governmental corruption, weakening civil liberties, undermining safeguards for free elections, eliminating a safety net for the poor or elderly, weakening basic education, reducing support for scientific research, declining public health statistics including worsening infant and maternal health, and mutual hostility among persons with diverse religious and ethnic backgrounds. With so much recent progress, if you can keep up the good work it should be no more than a few more years before you can at last qualify as a truly Third World nation. At this time, when so many Third World Club members are losing their qualifying status, we are happy to note your progress, contrary to the trend elsewhere in, for example, Asia and South America. If you wish, we would be happy, for a reasonable consultant fee, to provide consultative assistance in further progress toward meeting our criteria.
Your sincerely,
Corresponding Secretary, The Third World Club
Thank you for your recent application for admission the The Third World Club. Your application has been carefully reviewed by our Membership Committee, and I regret to inform you that at this time you do not meet our minimum membership qualifications. However, the Committee has instructed me to notify you that your recent achievements indicate that you are well on the road to qualifying. The Committee, therefore, strongly encourages you to apply again in the near future. The Committee notes with pleasure your recent progress in widening the gap between rich and poor, increasing the proportion of GNP devoted to non-productive activities such as military expenditure, increasing governmental corruption, weakening civil liberties, undermining safeguards for free elections, eliminating a safety net for the poor or elderly, weakening basic education, reducing support for scientific research, declining public health statistics including worsening infant and maternal health, and mutual hostility among persons with diverse religious and ethnic backgrounds. With so much recent progress, if you can keep up the good work it should be no more than a few more years before you can at last qualify as a truly Third World nation. At this time, when so many Third World Club members are losing their qualifying status, we are happy to note your progress, contrary to the trend elsewhere in, for example, Asia and South America. If you wish, we would be happy, for a reasonable consultant fee, to provide consultative assistance in further progress toward meeting our criteria.
Your sincerely,
Corresponding Secretary, The Third World Club
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